5 Other Effects of Hobby Lobby’s Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs

Now that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that Hobby Lobby (and other closely held corporations) are not required to provide their employees with insurance coverage for birth control, it’s a good time to review the top five effects the company’s other sincerely held religious beliefs might have on their workers:

1. No Pulling Out. If Hobby Lobby thinks birth control is a problem, they must not have done their research on the alternative. Genesis 38:9-10: “Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.” The company’s turnover rate’s going to be awfully high once God gets to smiting wasters of the seed.

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Best of 2013

Because it’s been a year of transition for me, a year spent writing a book-length poem instead of individual poems, a year of questions, I’ve felt like not much has happened in my life. But it’s also been a year of a lot of great moments. Here’s my Best Of:

Best Romance: Serenading my first book, THE DEAD EAT EVERYTHING, with “Juicy” when I first received it.

Best Star-Treatment: The Wick Poetry Center treating me like a boss for a week in Kent, Ohio, while I taught a week-long workshop on the long poem and gave a reading with Dorianne Laux. Comped meals, fancy hotel room, a limo driver holding my name up at the airport.

Best Discount at Friend’s Job: My fam Ryan & Naama gave me 4 tattoos.

Best ‘Huh, I Guess I’m a Capitalist Now, Technically’ Moment: Publishing Aziza Barnes’s chapbook, ME AUNT JEMIMA AND THE NAILGUN., the first chapbook from Button Poetry / Exploding Pinecone Press.

Best ‘Huh, I Guess I’m a Sort-Of Successful Capitalist Now’ Moment: Realizing Aziza Barnes’s chapbook is sold out and ordering a second print run.

Best ‘Capitalist or Not, This Shit Can Change the World’ Moment: Publishing VIRAL, an ebook anthology of the poems and poets who went viral for Button in 2013, which is full of radical work.

Best Day at a Coffee Shop: Finding out that Rachel McKibbens chose HIGHWAY OR BELIEF (by J. Scott Brownlee) as the winner of the second Button / E.P. chapbook contest, and that we’d also publish our runners-up A GUIDE TO UNDRESSING YOUR MONSTERS (by Sam Sax) and BLOOD PERCUSSION (by Nate Marshall)—all forthcoming in 2014.

Best College National Poetry Slam Moment: Not the amazing team practices I had with Sophia & Harlan & Ellie & Susie, not bringing the first-ever Indiana University team to CUPSI, not even seeing those folks share their beautiful & optimistic poems with a national audience. It was, rather, seeing the intimate friendships my team members have built with each other. To quote my own slam coach, Riley Lang, “You build…whatever it is that you build. We build communities.”

Best National Poetry Slam Moment (poetry-related): The second Minneapolis prelim bout, where the team I coached—two CUPSI Champs, two NPS rookies—absolutely handled themselves, their poems, and their competition like pros.

Best National Poetry Slam Moment (non-poetry-related): Stealing away from the kids to spend time with Sam Cook and Sierra DeMulder, my first and realest poetry team.  

Best Silver Lining: Though I’m still waiting to any good news at all from academic job applications, putting together my application materials has enabled me to articulate my aesthetic and ethical positions with regards to writing, teaching, and editing, which has been really great.

Best Sports Victory: I won my fantasy football league for the first time, defeating internet sensation Neil Hilborn for the Iron Throne.

Best Alcohol-Related Adventure: I went all of September without drinking.

Team the Best Team: I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to cheer on so many friends, students, & teachers as they accomplished huge things—Hieu found a publisher for his first book, THIS WAY TO THE SUGAR; Matejka was a finalist for the National Book Award for THE BIG SMOKE; Ross Gay won a Guggenheim; Ryan & Naama started their own tattoo business; Danez, Jamaal, Corey, Neil, Keith, Jen, Oliver, Khary, Katie, Zach, David, etc., etc. all made big moves. I’m proud to be part of such wonderful communities.

Best New Experience: Eating oysters. 

Best Movie: THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE

Best Concert: Ghostface Killah at The Bluebird (Bloomington, IN)

Best Record: RUN THE JEWELS, Run the Jewels

Best Book (published in 2013): THE BIG SMOKE, Adrian Matejka

Best Book (I read in 2013): ELEGY FOR THE SOUTHERN DRAWL, Rodney Jones


buttonpoetry:

Michael Mlekoday - “Prayer for the Destruction of Justin Bieber”

“The elevator music in my spine is Ani DiFranco cocking a pistol. I crack my knuckles like Biggie, drumming the roof of his casket. Even Anne Frank got more music than you, motherfucker.”

Rustbelt 2013 finals.


uhuhok:

why did i learn about photosynthesis b4 i learned about privilege and oppression

boop.

(via tumblrstumblebuttheydontfalldown)


prettydeadhair:

finstergrrrl:

vanty85:

publius-esquire:

Founding Father Pin-Ups, 2nd Ed.: Tread on Me

O.M.G. :-)

i find the Franklin one totally believable.

Ha. Among the things I’ve never imagined.

(via hieuminhbeing)


grrlyman:

cocoku:

oldatheart:

fweeble:

gryphynshadow:

littlemissbatterwitch:

clothoboorocracy:

stormybabe:

I have to say this is completely legit - someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”

My hero

someone teach me this pweeze-ooc

Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.
We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.
Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?
Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.
All that said, here’s how you do it!
This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.
Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.
When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.
Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.
If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.
Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.
Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.
Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.
From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”
Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.

Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:

THIS IS AWESOME.

Practice with friends!

Good tips for people with lower centers of gravity, but let’s keep in mind not all women are born the same.

grrlyman:

cocoku:

oldatheart:

fweeble:

gryphynshadow:

littlemissbatterwitch:

clothoboorocracy:

stormybabe:

I have to say this is completely legit - someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”

My hero

someone teach me this pweeze-ooc

Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.

We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.

Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?

Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.

All that said, here’s how you do it!

This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.

Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.

When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.

Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.

If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.

Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.

Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.

Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.

From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”

Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.

Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:

THIS IS AWESOME.

Practice with friends!

Good tips for people with lower centers of gravity, but let’s keep in mind not all women are born the same.


grrlyman:

Mine is both.

grrlyman:

Mine is both.

(via violentqueers)


leavemymouth:

made this for commencement on thursday in solidarity with assata & also cause fuck you, grad school.

leavemymouth:

made this for commencement on thursday in solidarity with assata & also cause fuck you, grad school.

(via violentqueers)


justthatgirl:

Second attempt at a coverflip :)

I really wish J. Kerouac wasn’t a boy and that this was their book cover.

justthatgirl:

Second attempt at a coverflip :)

I really wish J. Kerouac wasn’t a boy and that this was their book cover.


hieuminhbeing:

buttonpoetry:

HIEU NGUYEN - “It Was The Winter…”

“Nostalgia forgets to visit this street. It is too busy with tree houses and rope swings; it doesn’t have time for all this grey.”

Button Poetry’s own HIEU NGUYEN is a finalist in the 2013 Write Bloody Publishing Contest. Reblog (and like this video on youtube) to help Hieu win a publishing deal!

AHH! I wrote a book, and that book is a finalist for the Write Bloody Publishing book contest! Part of the contest is seeing how many YouTube “likes” I can get for my submission video. If you have the time please like (thumbs up) the video (on youtube) and if you feel like sharing/reblogging the link that would totally not hurt my feelings. BAH!!! Thank you!!